I have to admit this is getting old, but some way or another I have to let all this out.

Ever since I pushed all my friends away after learning the person I've been in love with decided that they've been in love with a person they've only known almost a year.

Every time I see them together I feel like throwing up. I feel anger, sadness, jealousy, remorse. I feel bitter.

I can't socialize properly anymore. The most minimal display of affection towards others or even towards me sickens me. Or hell it even scares me.

Things have been going horribly at home; my father is going back to be manipulative and aggressive and nothing I do works anymore. I have found myself crying like a baby because of how he treats me.

My so called friends have been using my rants to make fun of me (yes, even the ones about my suicide attempts. Aparently they think me almost dying is funny), I can't trust no one but a bunch of strangers in a website.

I don't know what I might do at this point.

It's no surprise that all this is happening on April. Three years ago I attempted suicide for the first time, and it was on April.

I know I've been saying this ever since, but I don't really think I will make it past this year.

I might pay the highway a visit next time my father has to leave for the entire day.