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AlixBalica
25. Artist. Opinions are my own and don't reflect the values of the company I work for.

Age 25, Male

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Mexico City, Mexico

Joined on 1/29/15

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Relationships weren't good anyways

Posted by AlixBalica - March 22nd, 2015


My girlfriend and I broke up today.

It was mostly my fault, actually it was my fault entirely. I was so devastated I actually was thinking about giving in and attempting suicide again, I felt nauseous all day and I couldn't stop crying like a baby, right now my eyes are so sore and red like I just blazed it and I feel like my head is going to explode 'cause of how much I cried an hour ago.

I love her, I will always love her, but I guess I'm just not made for relationships.

I mean, most of my relationships ended up on me having a breakdown (except my relationship with my now best bro, I was relieved that hell was over), I can't see myself getting married or having children.

Some friends say 'best luck next time' but I doubt there'll be a next time, not because I'm acting all emo like 'love sux :'((((((' Nah man, I just can't make things work out between someone else and me, and I'm totally okay with that. I don't have to get married or have children, there's other kinds of love besides romantic. Friends are cool, comittment and children are not.

And no girlfriend/boyfriend/datemate=more money/more time. I enjoy mostly being alone chatting with friends than going around trying to please someone and watching what I say or what I do.

I'm not saying love sucks; I'm saying, in my experience, relationships are not for everyone. And that's more than OK.

I guess I'm aromantic! And I'm more than happy to be!

((Just to be clear, my disorder is such a bitch it's not letting me get over it, I'm feeling kinda ok right now but deep inside I wish I die in my sleep. Take your medication, children!))


Comments

Sorry to hear about that.There will always be a point in every life when reality just slaps you in the face,just to test how 'strong' you are in life.It's unfair,but everything isn't a bed of roses.You should have some alone time and try to clear your mind of the sadness and think of other ways to move on in life.
You can ask yourself,now with the time you have for yourself and your family,what are you going to do with it?Before you were in the relationship,what were you using it for?Are you going to continue living in the past or do you want to get on with the future by catching your ambitions?How about your hobbies?These can help you forget the past,so go enjoy yourself doing what you love,focus on the present.I'm not saying that you should forget everything about the past,but instead of letting the PAST control how you feel NOW(which really screw up your future someday,because you will always be in the past),why not focus on how you're going to feel,now that everything's changed?If it's still too much for you,you really have to speak with your family and friends,or else you will never see the best parts of life which yet to come.Let your emotions out as you tell them,it'll make you feel you better and make those around you less worried,because they REALLY know what you're going through.Hang out with your friends more as this is not only a step forward,it's also a way to strengthen the friendship which will not fail you and to have such friends are very rare in life.I think it's too soon for you for you to say that you're never into romantic relationship,because you're still young.As you grow older,you'll understand that love isn't what you think it is now.However,you're right about the part where everyone does not have to be in a relationship in life(heh,I am and will be one of them),but PLEASE keep your friends as you will never know when they can be a great help.
Young man,you're lucky to have your friends.As for me,I have no real friends,I lost all of them in life and death,my family's all I got and I do think of getting into relationships but I try not to think about that.Why?(you may ask)Well,I'm an introvert,so I may be the type people will run away from.Sorry to hear about your disorder but life is what you see it,be positive and it will be,even bad things won't hurt as much.As a cancer survivor once said,"Tough times don't last,tough people do."And you know what?You are ONE of those tough people.Stand up to your problems,even if they seem tough.
Well,that's all an 'old windbag' like me have to say,you can choose to ignore this,I'm fine with it.These words can't help you,it's you who can help yourself.Focus on the present,learn to see the bright sides of all the bad stuff and love your family and friends more and if you can,help any stranger in need,it's all up to you.Farewell and take care,young man.

I'm sorry to hear all the stuff you've gone through too, bro. I know it may be too soon to decide if relationships are not my thing, but right now I can't see myself sharing my life with someone else other than friends so I guess this label is staying until I change my mind.
All those words actually helped, no one has actually took the time to give me encouraging words after the hell I'm going through right now (sick family, midterms week, breakup, job, mental illnesses, etc) and this is what I actually need.
Bro it's not late to go out and get yourself some friends, you are always in time to share something you like with someone else. As I said, friends are cool.
Let me tell you, I'm also an introvert and social situations make me anxious (some times repulsed), but when people are willing to be friends they don't mind. Hell they even help you out! (It gets a bit better when both people help eachother out with social anxiety).
All I'm saying is, not everything is romantic relationships, friendships sometimes can be better than relationships (trust me, I've noticed I'm better off single than taken 'cause I'm constantly stressed to be the perfect partner even though I will never be) and that's up for people to decide.
Right now I think I'm good being single, to hell with trying to be perfect for someone!

Thanks for the advice,maybe someday,you'll meet your other half and you're right,what's important is that you just be yourself.I'm okay being alone and keeping to myself as I've been like this for yearsand you don't have to say thanks,I had a habit of trying to help others back then and sometimes,it's funny how they bite you in the end,so I kind of became an introvert after a number of times they did that.If you ever need anymore help,I'll be happy to help,just don't hope to get a quick reply as I'm gone for most of the day,but I'll be here everyday,I promise you that.CuĂ­date!